It also keeps you from strangling people.
I spent some time alone lately doing what relaxes and focuses me. Running lets me focus on just running, once my mind wanders I twist an ankle so I just focus on running. I like to find spots and just stop, listen, let whatever is bothering me come to the surface and just go from my mind and body. The snow makes it a lot easier since it keeps 98% of the people away, and you can get neat scenes like these:
My time alone lately has been to try and get rid of some sadness. While the treatments our pitt has gotten has done well for a few months, nothing is working now and it's almost time to say goodbye. Not having children, my dogs are just about everything and live a fantastic life better than some people I know. The cancer is making his nodes swell up and he will eventually not be able to eat, and the doctor says he only has a week or so left until we need to make the decision to let him go so he won't starve to death and be in misery.
I figure he has about 10,000 or more miles of head out the window fun and has seen more things and been more awesome places than most people. I know I am doing the right thing but it still feels like betrayal, just like the last 3 dogs made me feel. I can't imagine my life without the company of my loyal 4 legged friends, they have enriched me more than I have them.
But living life like this, maybe they are getting the better end of the deal.
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| Tobie enjoying being sucked into the leather. |
oh max...it is an awful part of loving and caring for what becomes a true family member. i have been through this. it sucks. you have been through this. you know how hard it is going to be. but it really does come down to quality of life.
ReplyDeleteand if you can be the one to ensure that he goes peacefully, then what a great family member you were to him. and he will love you forever for it.
make sure to let yourself grieve, eh? let yourself grieve but at the same time - know that you are doing the best and right thing for your little buddy.
and i don't need to tell you to remember the good times - you will never forget them! but imagine that you are in his place and he in yours - what would he do for you? you know the answer. he would make your passing as gentle and easy and loving as possible.
i am sorry that you are going through this and have to do this. it always hurts. but just think of the wonderful life that he has had. because you loved him.
my heart goes out to you. my thoughts and prayers will be with you all over the next while. please update us on when, where, etc.
and spend the next few days just loving him. this is going to be hard. but you have support. even though it is thousands of miles away.
i will keep you in my thoughts, my friend!
your friend,
kymber
Max:
ReplyDeletei am so sorry for you pal. this is heartbreaking. our cats are our family too, when one is remotely looking sick, we get freaked.
i understand your running escape, i used to do the some on my bike, once riding, things could just "peel off". now i go fishing in my canoe, some thing.
take care Max..