On loss

There is much to read, think and say on losing loved ones. Mentally I debate myself about losing someone fast vs. a longer drawn out process. There isn't a prize, people are simply gone. Is there relief if it's a long process, and if so is that suddenly second guessing when you feel relieved.

Are they in a better place? Is that even possible when your family is still alive? Do people decide it's time, are they waiting for something, etc.

When my Father passed away I cried for hours, days. I think I cried enough for a lifetime. The hear breaking agonizing grief, anger and frustration.

Mother in law had a great life, of that there isn't any doubt.  We are working through getting all of the service arraigned and notifications. I keep reminding everyone it's a celebration of her life, nothing else, so keep it that way. 59 years of marriage, 4 children, 3 grand children, world travel, family cruises, mountain getaways.
I even got her to swear once in a while, and that would always get her to say, "shit you did it again!".

For us, life will return to a normal state, with emphasis on involving father in law in activities. I have several business trips coming up that perhaps we can escape on to try and reflect together without others around.


In the meantime life is rolling on as it always does. When I get some time I'll put a post up about my excursion to San Francisco, and my increased loathing for cities. ick.