Watching live tv?

Not me, not anymore. Sure I enjoy watching 2 chicks beat the crap out of each other on Jerry Springer, but every single commercial is about a lawyer looking for clients. I used to enjoy watching the news but that's like watching crap being poured out of buckets that look like human beings.

It would be great if the commercials would just say it like they really want to:
"I won a case for my client and they got $200,00 for no reason at all and I took $80,000 for myself, I'm an awesome attorney who makes your automobile insurance rates go up."
"Hey conservative white people; Obama is a muslim and black, he is stealing YOUR money, aren't you tired of having him in office yet?"
"Nobody wants a Mormon in charge of anything, don't you all know he's Mormon and will stop the flow of YOUR free money?"
"If you can't get an erection, take this pill. It probably has nothing to do with being in a relationship you hate, with someone you can't stand to look at, and wish you never had to have sex with."
"Hey cable customers, switch over to satellite and have shitty reception with many shows and channels on blackout. Sure that might suck but you are saving $50 a month!"
 "Want to see a sneak preview of next week' episode? That's great, we are going to force you to watch 15 minutes of this new show called; so you think you actually think for yourself, America votes and tell you if you do."

Really.

My zucchini is well on it's way to being 4 feet tall. It's growing at the rate of the national debt, I knew using the dollar bill fertilizer was a good thing. Now I just need it to stop grandstanding and produce...

Yes, it's that kind of morning, I didn't get any sleep last night.