So long old pal

The end always comes sooner than you think, and certainly want. The decision had to be made or else we would have been selfish hoping for another day, or two. It has not been a good weekend. We did everything we could and if someone tried to prolong my life by making me suffer I would bite the shit out of them, and we are sure he was telling us it's time to go.

Our other dog Luke is a little lost, as we are. We spent today working on the in-laws fence replacing more rotted wood posts for the good metal ones.The entire family came over, and they brought all the dogs. Our nephew loved our pitt so much he has 2 of his own, and fosters up to 5 when the rescue place needs it. His female pitt came charging across the yard to where we were working, and I swear it was my boy coming to see what we were up to. Perhaps it was the light and shadows, or her light coat, but Tobie is watching over us already. I know he is playing with good company, where the toilet seat is never down and he has an endless supply of squeak toys. Too many things today reminded me of him and the oddities only he seemed to have.

So here is to the great memories. The ridiculous things our animals do and the things we do for them. The 2am need to go outside when it's 20 degrees and we are camping. The resting of snouts on heads when we are sick. The alerting us to people outside the house. The unconditional loyalty and love even when the trash can is dumped over in the kitchen. The Thursday and Sunday ride to Starbucks for pumpkin bread.

I also have a lot of hot dogs and bologna that he unfortunately never got to eat. I guess I'll pretend it's a survival food and do a review on it. Go hug your spouse, kids, pets, whatever fills your life with joy.

The quiet time alone

I'm a fan of people spending time alone, I think it make the time spent with others a little more quality. If you don't have quality individual time then you can forget how important the time together is. In a SHTF situation I might not get any alone time for a while so I take advantage of it when I need it.

It also keeps you from strangling people.

I spent some time alone lately doing what relaxes and focuses me. Running lets me focus on just running, once my mind wanders I twist an ankle so I just focus on running. I like to find spots and just stop, listen, let whatever is bothering me come to the surface and just go from my mind and body. The snow makes it a lot easier since it keeps 98% of the people away, and you can get neat scenes like these:

My time alone lately has been to try and get rid of some sadness. While the treatments our pitt has gotten has done well for a few months, nothing is working now and it's almost time to say goodbye. Not having children, my dogs are just about everything and live a fantastic life better than some people I know. The cancer is making his nodes swell up and he will eventually not be able to eat, and the doctor says he only has a week or so left until we need to make the decision to let him go so he won't starve to death and be in misery.

I figure he has about 10,000 or more miles of head out the window fun and has seen more things and been more awesome places than most people. I know I am doing the right thing but it still feels like betrayal, just like the last 3 dogs made me feel. I can't imagine my life without the company of my loyal 4 legged friends, they have enriched me more than I have them.

But living life like this, maybe they are getting the better end of the deal.

Tobie enjoying being sucked into the leather.

So while I am very sad, I know that it wont be the last time I have to say goodbye to a faithful friend, and I know another one will come into my life soon via. fate. That's how we got Tobie, Luke the foxhound and the other dogs we have loved (Mollie the shepherd, Angel and Mocha the rotties, and cinnamon the mix breed). The sadness is always outweighed by all the other times that make/made me smile and laugh.

18 degrees!

the ground wasn't frozen yet but the road up to the top was closed. Closed roads never stopped me from getting somewhere, especially when I have 2 feet. Breaking trail in up to 18 inches of snow was awesome. My neighbor had a blast laughing at my antics, but we got out and about while most people are huddled up inside.

HELL YES BABY

It's snowing, there is a lot of snow on the trails and I'm super pumped for a snow run tonight. I couldn't sleep last night knowing I would be in the snow tonight.

Might as well enjoy what you can't control, that's how I look at it. I got the fireplace up and running last night and cleaned up my office some. I also ran out about midnight and disconnected the hose from the house in case it got really cold. The house was a comfy 64 this morning and I got to break into the winter weather clothing closet.

Winter weather is a good time to look over your stuff and make sure you are as ready as you can be, in whatever situation you are in. I'm feeling good about my stuff, there are holes that can be filled in various areas but generally it's a good stockpile. I have to start on the in-laws preps, they are just about settled in the new house and we will probably hit Costco this weekend and get some stuff.

It's a great time to be alive.

Who eats better than I do?

My dog does! I'm cooking some good meals for him and then not eating much of anything myself. I'm having to get creative on the cooking, never cooked for a dog before so it needs to be good, and bland. Tonight is mac and cheese with hot dogs. I'm having some bbq chicken and... hmm nothing else.

I have lots of dog food, dry and canned, but I never planned on cooking meals for more than two so I will have to spend some money on a few more items for a SHTF scenario. Unfortunately I don't expect my pitt to last more than another month or so but he is doing great so far. His nodes are super swollen still but he has energy and he isn't going to starve to death. It's very depressing really, it's like losing part of the family but at least he can go out on good terms knowing we did everything money can buy.

Tomorrow it's bbq chicken and rice for him at dinner and hostess cupcakes for morning 'hide the pill' snacks.

Cooking for more

My pit isn't doing so well lately, those good and bad days. I'm not cooking food for him every night so he will actually eat something and not starve to death. The chemo treatment had to be changed, and now he is on antibiotics and heart medication as well. Last night he had sirloin, green beans and eggs, all jumble cooked in a frying pan. I had a couple slices of pizza, he's eating better than me!
I think it's worth it, I don't want to feel like I didn't make the effort and just let him slip away. His glands are not as swollen this morning, but I can only imagine trying to eat dry dog food must be horrible something like swallowing hard cookie crumbs when you have a sore throat. My fresh grocery bill is going to double but I get a lot of satisfaction cooking for my little guy.

Went wheeling yesterday, had 7 rigs and a bunch of friends. The people I wheel with are actually friends, strangers I can't rely on when something happens to break. We actually had one of the smaller Jeeps get stuck on a rock and completely crush the oil pan in, but not enough to cause it to leak or cause the incorrect amount of oil to get into the system. Another smaller Jeep wasn't so lucky and toasted his rear ring gear and needed some assistance in the harder spots with a tow strap. The gears broke enough to make a smooth section so he drove home in 4high, front wheel drive, without any issues. I had some horrible squeaking and discovered a bolt for my transfer case bracket was working it's way out and had stripped so I couldn't get it tight enough. .50 cal ammo can full of spare nuts and bolts saved the day as usual and it was business as normal.

Shot of the 3 big rigs after a dusty road and before 5 hour trail time.

Parking was at a premium so I found a rock to perch on for lunch

I canned some apples, the honey-crisp are finally in stock and I took advantage. Spend $100 and get $10 off coupon plus 10% off if you have a football shirt on, bonus. I stocked up on pumpkin since it was on sale and lasts a long time PLUS I managed to get out of Costco under $70 for the first time ever. I'm not panicked nor really worried, but when I find things on sale I try to get a lot while I can afford it, just in case the price for groceries triples next year. Farm produce is expensive since many states don't allow illegal labor anymore and it seems most 'Americans' don't want to do that kind of work. I think that people want jobs but hardly anyone wants to work. Same old story.

I've got some freeze dried cans I'm waiting to get shipped, but it's been delayed and now I have to call and have it delayed more so it's not sitting on the curb for a week while I'm away. Supposed to get snow and high of 30 on Wednesday, I can't wait, so tonight I'll put away the hose and I'm ready for winter.

Permanent frowny face time?

When I read and skim over the dozens of blogs, I seriously feel like I'm the only one who is having fun and enjoying myself. It's good to be prepared, it's good to stay current on events and happenings, it's good to have a plan.

I ordered Battlefield 3, gonna lay the smack down online.

It's also really good to enjoy yourself and not have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Maybe I'm the only one who doesn't wake up wondering if the world will collapse today. The people I talk to about such things outside of the web are all just waiting for it to happen and concern themselves with just that and really nothing else. Can't anyone live this kind of lifestyle and not be worried 24/7, or am I really so far out of it that I'm more of a yuppie with some food in a storage bin.

Yuck.
I don't really take myself too seriously, maybe it's a fault but I still keep going at it. We did add some SHTF booze into storage yesterday. Since I don't drink it's going to last a while or get me so drunk I won't be able to do anything but vomit while the world is torn asunder by the occupy whatthefuckever crowd (occupy the barn over at Zydeco ranch! lol that was awesome). I also inventoried my get home bag before I went to Denver yesterday. I mentally had forgotten some of the stuff in it, and I need to change it over to cold weather orientation this month.

I got a call from my friend who is looking at doing a 1000 mile run next year, over 20 days, and I got an invite to run the last 50. It's sooner than I had mentally planned for a 50 miler, so I've got some work to do. At least it's winter and my running won't get in the way of doing other fun outdoor things, it's too dark and cold for much of anything else in the evenings.